


Unintended Side Effects

by HelloTragic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 19:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloTragic/pseuds/HelloTragic
Summary: After overhearing a conversation between Emma and the girls, Killian decides to grow his hair back out to prove a point. Emma isn’t pleased.





	Unintended Side Effects

**Author's Note:**

> repost

 

It had all started with an innocent comment to the girls at one of their Sunday family dinners. The men had moved into the living room where Henry was attempting to explain to Robin and Killian, that although they were labeled Star Wars episodes one, two, and three, they were made after episodes four, five, and six. David was adamant that they should be watched in chronological order, while Henry explained that the first three didn’t count and should be ignored.

 

Henry easily became very passionate when it came to educating Killian on the classics, and the last time he had been so excited was when he explained why it was called Back to the Future when they were actually traveling into the past. Of course, there had also been a minor discussion the week before while trying to decided which super hero movie to watch. Killian didn’t have a dog in the fight, but Henry just couldn’t pick which one he wanted to show Killian first. Having chosen to also blacklist The Hulk, much the same way he had episodes one through three, Henry threw order out the window. Captain America was a classic, but he was starting to think that Killian might relate more to Iron Man’s sardonic nature, even if he was still only barely starting to understand basic modern technology.

 

Before he could decide though, Emma had plopped down in the couch next to Killian, making the final call. Thor. She had reasoned that it had been longer since they watched it than the others, but Henry couldn’t help but notice the way Killian’s brow furrowed at Emma. His gaze focus suspiciously at her until the movie queued up. After the movie, Emma and Killian had retired immediately to their bedroom and Henry was just able to make out the sound of the lock on their door clicking. He turned on his Xbox to help drown out any noises just incase.

 

It had been a week though, and Killian hadn’t thought anything of it. Their love making that evening had been vigorous to say the least, but he had simply attributed it to Emma having had the day off. The town was monster free, letting Emma focus her energy elsewhere. It wasn’t until he made his way back to the kitchen to grab another round of beers that he learned the truth. Ruby’s voice had cut through the noise of the running sink and clanking dishes.

 

“Hey Ems, Belle and I were thinking about seeing Wonder Woman Friday night. You want to join us?”

 

“Um,” Killian could recognize Emma deflecting from just two letters. “I’ll have to see what my schedule is like. It’s difficult to make plans when you have drunk Viking’s lurking about trying to fight their way back to Valhalla every weekend.”

 

“Okay.” The way Ruby drew the word out spoke to how little she believed Emma.

 

“Oh, sweetie. Just because you can de- detect lies, doesn’t mean you can tell one.” The hiccup in the middle had Killian wondering just how much alcohol Mary Margaret had consumed. “We all know there’s only one superhero movie Emma’s ever been interested in.”

 

“Mom!” Killian couldn’t see her from where he was hiding around the corner, but he could imagine that her face was turning a shade of red that closely resembled that fetching dress she wore for their first dance.

 

“What did I just miss?” Belle’s voice was teasing.

 

“Nothing.” His Swan was fierce, but drunk Mary Margaret was fiercer, never backing down from a fight.

 

“A little birdie once told me that Emma has a think for Chris Hemsworth, or more specif- specifica- specically Chris Hemsworth with long hair,” she sing-songed in spite of her stumbling over a specific word.

 

There was a part of him that knew he should find that little tidbit amusing, and that he could use it to tease her mercilessly, but a much larger part of him became irrationally jealous. The idea of his Swan finding another man attractive had his stomach churning, especially after realizing what had spurned her on that evening, but the addition of that very last part – the part about the long hair – had wounded him. He had once told her that he had a pony tail during his naval years, as was customary of the times. She had laughed at that, and told him that she was happy that he kept it short.

 

He had even taken it so far as to getting regular trims since then, keeping it just long enough to be messy, but not so long as to turn off Emma. But here she was, fawning over that wanker and his greasy limp locks. If that’s what she wanted, that what he would give her.

 

Emma was out of shampoo again. This was the second time that month, a shear impossibility. She turned the bottle over in her hands, looking for a crack or leak somewhere that could explain how she was going through so much of it. Yes. Big princess hair did require a certain amount of shampoo and conditioner, but this was getting ridiculous.

 

Groaning in frustration, she tossed the empty bottle towards the trashcan on the other side of the bathroom, and continued with her shower routine. After about five minutes, she was just finishing shaving her legs when she noticed that the waters was starting to build up. Emma shut the water off and waited, and waited. It took almost ten minutes for the water to fully drain. She had given up, choosing to dress in a tank top and sleep shorts while she waited.

 

When she returned to the bathroom, she looked around to see if there was anything long and slender that she could poke through the drain to see if it was clogged. Failing to find anything suitable, she let her hand hover above the drain. Light started to emanate from her palm and before she new it, the course of the blockage had been pulled from the drain. And if The Dark One had taught her anything, it was that all magic came with a price, and what a horrible rancid, foul smelling price it was. The clump of hair she had removed was enough to form a small hamster, but was really surprised her was the amount of dark hair that was tangled up with her own. And it was long.

 

Thinking on it, his hair was longer. She hadn’t noticed it over the past few months, seeing him daily had allowed it to sneak up on her and she couldn’t remember the last time he had visited Todd, the local barber. They weren’t overly busy, so it wasn’t as if he hadn’t had time. He was simply choosing to grow it out, despite her once telling him how much she like it was it was shorter. It was so easily mussed that way and screamed sexy to her. But now, it was verging on being longer than his Dark One days.

 

This needed to stop.

 

She should have just talked to him about it, but she couldn’t think of a way to bring the situation up without sounding like a superficial nag. Instead, in a moment of weakness she had given into Regina’s advice.

 

What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

 

That had been the push she needed. Using some ingredients from Regina’s vault, Emma mixed up a small potion that would not only stop Killian’s hair growth; it would even help reduce it.

 

That evening, she had slipped the potion into Killian’s rum bottle. She wasn’t sure how long it would take before he needed to refill his flask, but she wanted to make sure it wasn’t something that Henry might accidentally consume. True to his pirate title, it didn’t take long before the effects had become apparent.

 

Four days had passed when Emma spotted Killian standing in front of their bathroom mirror, tilting his head from side to side as he stared at his reflection. He looked vexed, and while Emma was quite content with the results, there was a small pang of guilt in her stomach. After all, she had made him a promise that she would never control him again.

 

“What are you doing?” She hoped her voice didn’t betray her.

 

“Nothing.” He didn’t quite snap at her, but there was an edge to his voice as he left the room.

 

Damn.

 

All magic comes with a price.

 

She hadn’t thought it through, and now she didn’t know how to fix it. The initial effects were minimal, only affecting the hair on his head, but over the next two weeks she had noticed that the hair on his chest was beginning to recede as well. She hated it.

 

The first time she noticed it was late at night, as she ran her fingers through it after a late night rounding up Leroy from the White Rabbit. She had stripped down to her underwear and crawled into the bed next to him. Hoping to wake him up in one of his favorite ways, she had started by kissing his jaw, letting her hand slide down to his naked torso, and nearly naked it was.

 

“Swan?” His sleep-addled voice was low and sensual, but not enough to distracted her.

 

“Did you-“ she paused trying to figure out how to phrase it, “trim yourself.”

 

She felt him tense underneath her, every muscle in his body going rigid. His good hand came up to wrap around her wrist and suddenly he was pushing her hand off of him.

 

“No!” He huffed as he turned to face away from her.

 

He had never turned away from her before; even in his sleep he cuddled her.

 

“Killian?” She winced at how small and timid her voice was.

 

“Go to sleep.”

 

He didn’t even bother to call her love, and it hurt.

 

“Please?” She wasn’t the type to beg, but guilt was coursing through her blood.

 

It took a few minutes but he finally sighed in defeat and rolled back over so that he was on his other side facing her.

 

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Please forgive me.”

 

She shifted her body closer to his so that she could rest her head on his chest.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Another pause.

 

“I know how much you all like to tease me about my age, but for the first time I’m starting to feel it. I think time is starting to catch up to me, love. I seem to be going through some age related changes and it’s hard to accept it after being so devilishly handsome for so long.” He sounded so exhausted.

 

“Oh, Killian.”

 

He interrupted her before she could say more.

 

“And I know it’s silly to be so vain, but sometimes I worry that you’ll lose interest in me, biblically, as I like my looks.”

 

And that was the nail in the coffin.

 

“Crap.”

 

“Swan?”

 

She steeled herself.

 

“You’re not getting older. I, uh, may have slipped a potion into your rum and I think it’s had some unintended side effects.”

 

“WHAT!”

 

He shot up knocked Emma over, catching her off guard.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Why? Have I done something to you?”

 

“No. No. No. Nothing like that.

 

“Than why, Emma? What potion?”

 

She knew it was bad. He only used her first name why he was terrified, or truly angry.

 

“Um. It was a potion that makes your hair stop growing. I only meant to keep the hair on your head from growing. I didn’t realize it was going to make you bald everywhere else too!”

 

He fell back on his pillow, groaning in the process. His hand had come up to his face, and his fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose. It was another one of his tells, and Emma had come to understand that this one meant he was trying to calm himself down.

 

“And is there a way to undo it?”

 

“I’m not sure. We can talk to Regina first thing in the morning.”

 

Almost twenty minutes went by in silence. Killian was almost certain that Emma had fallen asleep, but then her voice broke through the quiet, almost as a whisper.

 

“Why?”

 

“Why what, love?”

 

“Why were you growing your hair out?”

 

She nearly received an elbow to the nose as Killian lifted his arm to scratch behind his ear. For the first time that night, Emma let her curiosity outweigh her guilt.

 

“I may have heard a conversation between you and the girls a few months ago, about a certain superhero.”

 

If there had been any light in the room, Killian would have seen how wide Emma’s eyes had snapped open at the admission. She felt warmth crawling up her neck and cheeks.

 

“Killian, That’s not- I wish you hadn’t heard that.”

 

She felt him tense again.

 

“I mean, yes, I think he’s attractive with the long hair, but I promise you, he doesn’t hold a candle to you. And even with the longer hair, I still think that you are the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

 

“Swan, my ego will recover in time. There’s no need to placate me.”

 

“I’m not,” She admonished. “Do I need to prove it to you?”

 

He didn’t object, and she proved it to him twice more that night. They met with Regina the next morning after breakfast and within minutes Regina had whipped up and antidote, along with a few snarky remarks towards Killian’s current predicament. It took three months for Killian, and his chest hair to return to its former glory, and she promised herself to never again try to control him.

**Author's Note:**

> As always you can come yell at me on tumblr: wellhellotragic


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